The Challenge
by Kari Yaslana
Summary: A collection of short drabbles containing a seemingly innocent word hidden within its naughty depths. K/S Slash Please refrain from submitting words until further notice! I need to catch up!
1. The Challenge Begins

Dedicated to Andre, who swore I could never turn innocent words into slashy dirtyness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I DO, however, own my own filthy, filthy mind. Please also note what you will be reading is NOT graphic pornography. There is nothing explicit here, just your general crudeness and innuendos.

The Challenge: I was challenged to take innocent sounding words and wrap them in lusty bits. This is the result.

The Challenge

**Challenge 1: Innocuous**

Definition: not harmful or injurious; harmless: _an innocuous home remedy._

When given a half-certain gaze, the bulge in Spock's pants LOOKED **innocuous** enough...but Jim Kirk knew better.

* * *

**Challenge 2: Tribble**

Definition: small, soft, gentle fictional animals in the Star Trek universe whose cute appearance and soothing purring endears them to [almost] every sentient race which encounters them

Kirk's hand easily slipped under Spock's waistband, feeling around for the cushioning softness he knew he would encounter. "Is that a **tribble** in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Kirk said with a sultry look.

"It is a **tribble**, of course, Captain. You should know that Vulcan's are meticulous in shaving rituals."

* * *

**Challenge 3: Pugilist**

Definition: a person who fights with the fists; a boxer, usually a professional.

Kirk knew what would happen when he pitted himself against that Vulcan strength. He may have been an amateur **pugilist**, but between him and Spock it would not be an even match in any test of physical dominance. Spock would take him. Hard. And Kirk...Kirk would not be able to offer any resistance. Even if he wanted to.

* * *

**Challenge 4: ****Chiaroscuro**

Definition: _Painting_. The use of deep variations in and subtle gradations of light and shade, esp. to enhance the delineation of character and for general dramatic effect: _Rembrandt is a master of chiaroscuro._

Spock stepped back and admired his latest item of artwork. His model stood before him, draped in nothing more than his air of arrogance and ready-for-trouble attitude Spock appreciated so very much. His gaze drew itself away from his Captain, and slowly raked across his painting. The only area that troubled him was the **chiaroscuro** of Kirk's well-defined manhood. An eyebrow slowly rose and his own form of a smile took its place. "Clearly," Spock reasoned, "I must immerse myself in the object of the artwork for better examination."

* * *

You may review with your own word, which will be added to the challenge list upon the next update. Reviews make me write faster 3


	2. More Vocabulary Words

Dedicated to Andre, who swore I could never turn innocent words into slashy dirtyness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I DO, however, own my own filthy, filthy mind. Please also note what you will be reading is NOT graphic pornography. There is nothing explicit here, just your general crudeness and innuendos.

The Challenge: I was challenged to take innocent sounding words and wrap them in lusty bits. This is the result.

More Vocabulary Words

**Challenge 5: Terpsichorean** (submitted by Erin)

Definition: 1. (_n_) a dancer 2. (_adj_) pertaining to dancing

Kirk's eyes moved back and forth to the gentle sway of the **terpsichorean**'s (_n_) body. It was no secret that Kirk's appreciation for beauty came in many forms, the blatant display of sexuality through **terpsichorean **(_adj_) being one of them. Spock noticed his Captain's undivided attention on the scene before him and promptly decided a more private performance in their quarters would become a necessity. Right now.

**Challenge 6: Charisma** (submitted by Banbi-V)

Definition: a spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people

It was no secret that James T. Kirk had **charisma**. He was able to smile and charm his way out of any difficult situation. This inherent ability also allowed him to have his fair share of the ladies. _Why then, _he reasoned, _should it not work on a certain First Officer?_ A lecherous smile crept across his face as he planned the subtle seduction of the Enterprise's resident Vulcan.

**Challenge 7: Onomatopoeia **(once more challenged by _Andre!_)

Definition: the formation of a word, as _cuckoo_ or _boom,_ by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent

"Jim, do you not think it wise to vacate the corridor before engaging in such _mmmf_…" Spock was thoroughly silenced by a certain Captain's tongue being immediately propelled down his throat. Any argument he could have previously formed had evaporated as Jim slammed him against the wall to the Captain's quarters with a distinctive _SMACK!_ Both parties had apparently forgotten the function of said doors, which promptly opened to allow entry. Unfortunately, since the doors were the only thing keeping both men propped up, they fell into the room with not only a resounding _CRASH!_ and _THUD! _ but with other assorted **onomatopoeias **as well.

**Challenge 8: Archipelago**

Definition: large group or chain of islands: _the Malay Archipelago_

It was a well-known fact that the crew of the _Enterprise_ enjoyed their shore leave. This leave, however, had something much more significant: the planet they were currently located on was filled with small islands. Each crew member, had they wished to, could have taken their leave each on a separate landmass. For two certain senior officers, this was the case. Almost.

"Jim, what exactly was your motive by directing us towards this **archipelago**?" Spock inquired.

Jim cocked an eyebrow in a decisively Vulcan-ish fashion. "You can't guess?"

I love reviews, but I also love the words you guys come up with. Keep submitting, and see your words appear in the next chapter! More words make my job easier and the updates speedier!


	3. SAT Necessities

Dedicated to Andre, who swore I could never turn innocent words into slashy dirtyness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I DO, however, own my own filthy, filthy mind. Please also note what you will be reading is NOT graphic pornography. There is nothing explicit here, just your general crudeness and innuendos.

The Challenge: I was challenged to take innocent sounding words and wrap them in lusty bits. This is the result.

SAT Necessities

**Challenge 9: Tintinnabulation **(submitted by DapperDestruction)

Definition: the ringing or sound of bells

Jim paced the sand nervously, creating small clouds of dust at his feet. The **tintinnabulation** had started several minutes ago but the wedding party had not yet appeared. _How will this go?_ Jim wondered. _Will it be like his last pon farr, where he was practically too horny for even a brief ceremony, or will we actually make it through the wedding this time?_ Finally, the party emerged from behind the screen of rock. Jim tried for one deep, reassuring glance at Spock's face. His skin had an unnatural green flush, and the tightness of his uniform pants held no secret.

_Nope,_ Jim thought. _He's just gonna take me like last time. In the sand. With witnesses._ He wasn't quite able to convince himself it wasn't what he wanted.

* * *

**Challenge 10: Claymore** (submitted by DapperDestruction)

Definition: a two-handed sword with a double-edged blade, used by Scottish Highlanders in the 16th century

Spock held the **claymore** with both hands before giving it an easy swing. "It is a remarkable gift, Captain," Spock began, "clearly illustrating your high regard on Beta Mira IV."

Kirk glanced over to observer Spock. "Yes, I'd like to think so. Be careful with that thing, Mr. Spock wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," he joked.

A certain Vulcan's eyebrow rose. "Indeed Captain, I do not believe I am in any danger of mistreating this weapon. I have already accessed the databanks to familiarize myself with its proper care."

"Oh? And what did your research tell you?" Kirk could already see Spock beginning his "lecture mode".

"One must keep a firm grip on the handle at all times, preferably using both hands. This will allow the wielder to have complete control, so the sword does not control the man." Spock paused at the slight look of astonishment on Kirk's face. "Is something wrong, Captain?"

Kirk cleared his throat, "No, no Mr. Spock not at all…please, continue."

Up went the eyebrow. "Very well, Captain. Considering it is highly unlikely and would be quite illogical for you to in fact use this blade as your primary weapon, I made certain to identify key elements for the care of such an artifact. For example, a blade left unattended has a high probability of beginning to rust. To prevent this from occurring, it is necessary to coat the blade with a thin layer of oil to ensure the desired amount of slickness."

"Spock!"

"Yes Captain?"

"Erm…nothing. You may continue."

"Thank you, Captain. When removing your sword from its sheath, it is important to have an understanding of the way the blade slides."

"Yes, Mr. Spock I have no doubt of that."

Here Spock gave Kirk an unreadable look that only slightly resembled bafflement to the trained eye. Kirk's skin had begun to flush and his hands were clenching just a fraction. Spock returned to his lecture. "You will notice how easily it will move once the tip encounters the sheath. For beginners, it is _locating_ the opening that is oftentimes the main issue. Once encountered, however, a person with the proper familiarity with the weapon would have no issue plunging their…"

"Alright Mr. Spock I think I've heard all I can take about sword maintenance for today." Kirk decided, no, he was NOT breathing heavily and, no, he was most certainly NOT staring at Spock's hands as they, quite masterfully, handled his sword.

Spock set down the claymore. Looking at Kirk with a deadpanned expression, he said, "Very well Captain. If you will excuse me, I will be returning to my quarters. You may join me, if you wish, to discuss the merits of different types of oil application."

Kirk stood agape as Spock made a signified exit. His eyes flickered to the door, the **claymore**, his groin, and back to the door.

He then sent a silent thanks to the inhabitants of Beta Mira IV and their wonderful tastes in gifts.

* * *

**Challenge 11: Nepotism** (submitted by Zarra Rous)

Definition: favoritism shown or patronage granted to relatives, as in business

"This planet," Kirk decided, "is run by fools."

Spock glanced over at Kirk. "Indeed Captain, their actions are not in the slightest way driven by logic. It appears that whatever a member of the ruling family decides must be carried out by law."

"But I've never even MET this so-called "relative". What are they anyway, 52nd in line for the throne?!"

"86th, Captain. Here, however, this holds no relevance. The blatant **nepotism** extends to ALL family members, no merely ones held in a higher regard. Religion on this planet is a business, Captain, and the ruling family the greatest of its collectors."

"So you're telling me we have no choice but to go along with this?" Kirk's voice held an odd note.

"Yes, Captain. If we wish to appease the government here, we must."

Later in the day as the two officers were led to the "sacrificial" platform, Kirk decided he had done his best. While he did not approve of being coerced into sex for public display, as he stared at Spock's naked form, he couldn't quite complain about the outcome.

* * *

**Challenge 12: Goats** (submitted by Veglma)

Definition: any of numerous agile, hollow-horned ruminants of the genus _Capra,_ of the family Bovidae, closely related to the sheep, found native in rocky and mountainous regions of the Old World, and widely distributed in domesticated varieties

"Spock, I've done a lot of kinky stuff in my life but this just about takes the cake."

Spock gave Kirk a not-quite-sigh before addressing his Captain. "Jim, there is nothing 'kinky' or perverted about this situation. We have certainly spent our shore leaves together and have conducted them in this way many times before."

"I'm pretty sure I've never had sex in front of a bunch of **goats**!"

The Vulcan placed his hand on Jim's arm. "Was it not you, Captain, that desired our shore leave be spent alone, 'away from all the noise of a city'?"

"This isn't quite the communing with nature I had in mind."

Spock's hand slid to Jim's thigh. "That is unfortunate, Captain, for I have no intention of doing anything this shore leave that I had not originally planned. Ignore the animals. They are far less judgmental than you."

Not quite deciding if he had been insulted or not, Jim followed Spock's lead and did his best to ignore the bleats.

* * *

Wow, I went kind of crazy on that sword one! This was so much fun to write.

Since Andre submitted so many tasty words, the next chapter will be entirely his. Don't worry though: I will keep posting your words if you keep submitting them!


	4. Thursday Morning Vocab

Dedicated to Andre, who swore I could never turn innocent words into slashy dirtyness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I DO, however, own my own filthy, filthy mind. Please also note what you will be reading is NOT graphic pornography. There is nothing explicit here, just your general crudeness and innuendos.

The Challenge: I was challenged to take innocent sounding words and wrap them in lusty bits. This is the result.

A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter but I've been playing World of Warcraft and Rune Factory 2 all of yesterday O.o

Thursday Morning Vocab

**Challenge 13: Syntax** (submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: _Linguistics_. The study of the rules for the formation of grammatical sentences in a language.

"Jim…"

Grunts followed by a low moan were the only responses. Spock tried again, "Jim, I believe there is something…" His efforts were silenced by a certain Captain's tongue thrusting forcefully into his mouth. With a look towards the ceiling that was not quite irritation, Spock did the only thing he could think of to get Kirk's attention.

"Ow! What the HELL, Spock?!" Jim's outraged cry was just the tiniest bit muffled, as he held a hand over his mouth.

"I have been attempting to gain your attention for the past 2.3 minutes."

"A tap on the shoulder would have been fine! You don't have to bite a guy's _tongue_ to let him know you want something!"

"It seemed the most logical course of action at the time."

Not daring to argue the virtues of Spock's "logic", Jim heaved himself off of his First Officer to join him on the other side of the bed. "Well since you just about killed the mood by _biting_ me, what was so urgent that you needed to leave me horny and unsatisfied?"

"I assure you, Jim, it was not my intention to leave you sexually frustrated, however there is a matter we must discuss that requires your urgent…"

Jim held up a hand, "Ok, whatever it is let's just deal with it now so we can get back to more important…business." Here, Jim sent his Vulcan a slightly lecherous smile that implied almost certainly the oral gratification that was to follow their conversation.

"We need to discuss the speech you will be delivering in three days to the council on Jaramus VI."

There was a notable lack of speech after Spock finished that sentence.

"Are you telling me," Jim began slowly, "that you interrupted our…'activities'…to talk about a speech I'm not giving for half a week?"

"Yes."

Jim ran a hand over his face before deciding this was not enough stimulation. He jammed his head under a pillow before continuing. "Alright Mr. Spock, you now have my attention. I'm sure you read over my speech and have many interesting corrections that you absolutely have to make at this _very_ moment so let's hear them."

Spock hesitated, "Would you like to continue speaking with your head underneath the pillow?"

"Yes, Spock, I am quite certain I would."

With a mental shrug at the illogic of the human race, Spock continued. "The speech itself holds no issues you should be aware of at this time…" Jim cut in with a muffled "I'm so glad you feel that way" which was promptly ignored. "…however, there is the question of **syntax**."

At this, Kirk's head reappeared and stared slightly wide-eyed at Spock. "My **syntax**? As in…my _grammar_ is wrong?"

"Quite so, Captain."

He couldn't help it. As soon as those words left Spock's mouth, Kirk burst out laughing. It took him several moments to recover after noticing the Vulcan's thinly veiled look of confusion. "You interrupt our foreplay, creating a _very_ disgruntled human male, to talk about my grammar issues. Spock," Kirk insisted, "you are one of a kind." His head disappeared once more, but it was certainly not underneath a pillow.

With a sharp intake of breath, Spock's body tightened, his eyes clothing as Jim continued to do…whatever he was currently doing with his recently injured tongue. "Perhaps this was not…the ideal time to bring up the subject."

Jim continued in this way for several more minutes before breaking the contact. Startled at the loss, Spock gave him an inquiring stare. "You know what Spock, you're right. I really should have checked my grammar. In fact, I'm going to go do that right now."

Spock later assured himself that he did _not_ squeak out a feeble "Now, Captain?" to which Jim replied, "Right now."

As Jim dutifully sat at his computer, still naked, Spock reminded himself that while denting in Jim's head with his lyre may hold a certain appeal, it was, unfortunately, illogical.

* * *

**Challenge 14: ****Defenestrate **(submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: to throw out of a window

Spock turned his head to face his Captain as he felt a rush of wind pass his right ear. He caught a quick glimpse of something being thrown but was unable to identify the object in question. "What exactly," he began, "did you **defenestrate**?"

Jim stood a few feet away from him, chest heaving and his eyes pinched in anger. "Those damn…_pills_ I picked up on Wrigley's our last shore leave. 'Natural male enhancement my ass…just what am I supposed to do with this thing for the next three hours?!" At the word _thing_, Jim tugged at his pants which, Spock noticed, were beginning to become increasingly tighter by the moment.

The left side of Spock's mouth gave a slight twitch. "I can think of a few things, Captain. If you will allow me to demonstrate…"

* * *

**Challenge 15: Prognosticate **(submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: to forecast or predict (something future) from present indications or signs; prophesy

Jim pushed aside the garishly colored tent flap and gave an amused shake of his head. Spock, who had been waiting nearby, approached. "How was your…reading, Captain?"

"Well, Mr. Spock, it's been a while since I've had my fortune told. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It's amazing what these people come up with."

"What precisely was the 'psychic' able to **prognosticate**?"

Kirk gave Spock a wide smile, "She said I should be wary these next few days…that I had a likelihood of being propositioned by the Devil and I should watch my back."

Spock's eyebrow, which had long ago made a point of rising, virtually disappeared beneath his bangs. "Indeed? Did she happen to mention what form this 'Devil' would take?"

"I would imagine He'd take the typical one…you know, pointed ears, dark hair, an unmatched sex drive…"

"I was unaware you had such frequent dealings with the Devil that you were able to ascertain his sexual motivation." The eyebrow lowered, but now Spock's mouth had begun to creep into a smile.

"Well," Jim continued, "she _did_ say the Devil was someone I knew…someone very close to me. Come to think of it, I wonder how she came up with that."

With a casual glance at Jim's neck, Spock said, "Perhaps the contusion I left above your collar last night had something to do with the 'prediction'."

Spock heard a startled yelp and did not bother to look back, as he knew his Captain was currently searching for a mirror.

* * *

**Challenge 16: ****Portmanteau **(submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: a case or bag to carry clothing in while traveling, esp. a leather trunk or suitcase that opens into two halves

"Spock…" Jim began, "…where precisely did you buy this…thing?"

The Vulcan did not turn towards his Captain, but continued to stow his belongings in the chest of drawers by the bed. "At the antique shop in the Entertainment distract earlier today, Captain."

Jim searched for the right words. "And what exactly…is it?"

"It is a **portmanteau**, sir, quite old, and remarkably preserved. The shopkeeper assured me it would contain 'all I would ever need for any occasion'."

"Uh huh…and you hadn't, you know, _inspected_ it before purchase?"

Spock turned back, affronted. "Quite thoroughly. It is a true artifact of Earth's European countries. As a student of the time period, I assumed you would be interested in such an item."

Jim gave Spock an incredulous look. "Oh, I'm interested all right, but not so much to the _bag_. Spock…you didn't happen to check the _contents_ of the bag, did you?" He noticed Spock's hesitation.

"…what contents?"

Carrying the bag over, Jim placed it carefully on the bed, giving his First Officer a bird's-eye view of what was inside.

It was filled, in a very organized and easily accessible way, with sex toys.

With a distinctly un-Vulcan stare, Spock stood very the bag. The clothes he was holding fell from his hands. He was forced out of his shock as Kirk reached in and pulled out what seemed to be a pair of purple handcuffs, wrapped in satin. "Now, Mr. Spock," Kirk began, "either you have been living a very secretive, if not interesting lifestyle I have not been privy to, or that was not an antique shop."

Spock's gaze slipped from the handcuffs to an open pocket of the bag which appeared to contain a set of "pleasuring rings". His eyes raked over the bottles of lube and the edible undergarments, finally resting on what appeared to be a type of clamp device. Kirk saw where his attention had wandered and promptly picked up the object. "This," Kirk decided, "is going to be one hell of a shore leave."

* * *

I'm going to request that when you submit your words you submit **NO MORE THAN 3**. I would like to get everyone's words into a drabble, however they seem to becoming longer and longer as my imagination becomes filthier and filthier. Thanks in advance and keep submitting!


	5. Saturday School Extra Review

Dedicated to Andre, who swore I could never turn innocent words into slashy dirtyness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. I DO, however, own my own filthy, filthy mind. Please also note what you will be reading is NOT graphic pornography. There is nothing explicit here, just your general crudeness and innuendos.

The Challenge: I was challenged to take innocent sounding words and wrap them in lusty bits. This is the result.

Saturday School Extra Review

**Challenge 16: Idiosyncrasies **(submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual

Kirk knew that when Spock had consented to share quarters with him there would have to be…adjustments. Living with a person, the first few weeks in particular, were always seen as an exciting, if not nerve-wracking, change. Kirk had no doubt he had habits that Spock found mildly annoying. All the little **idiosyncrasies** he had developed over the years were now being displayed out in the open in the ever-present view of his lover. He had always assumed that when the time finally came to live together, Spock would do his best to put up with his illogical, if not wonderful, human.

Kirk hadn't counted on _him_ having to get used to _Spock._

It started with the sock drawer. All of Spock's socks were regulation black, of course, and neatly folded. At least, to the untrained eye that's all they were. Kirk had noticed that not only were all of the socks stowed away with Vulcan precision: each pair of socks were an exact 0.4 centimeters apart from the other pairs and had no more than one other pair stacked on top. This would have been a cute and meaningless habit that told very much about the personality of the socks' owner. Unfortunately, Kirk shared the same drawer with his own pile of "neat" socks which, quite obviously, Spock did not feel were folded to his standards. So he arranged them. And his pants drawer. And the stack of reports on Kirk's desk.

After a few weeks of this behavior, the considerate and tolerant lover went away to be replaced by a grumpy Captain who acted like he had been married for 20 years. He began to intentionally rearrange his pants, shirts, and anything else Spock had touched. Until he came back to the sock drawer. As he lifted up the first stack, he noticed something wedged in between the two pairs. With interest, he pulled out what looked to be an old fashioned photograph. Kirk vaguely recalled Spock purchasing something called a Polaroid on their last shore leave. As he stared at the image, all of his anger and frustration drained away. Underneath each pair of socks, was a picture of Jim. Some he remembered having had taken during various leaves; others he could not remember at all. Kirk's heart swelled as he thought of his lover. Realizing Spock must have stashed images elsewhere, he went on a hunt through every piece of clothing Spock had lovingly rearranged.

Then he found a piece of paper, neatly tucked away underneath one of his boots. It contained a list of all the things Spock intended to have Jim do…in bed.

Maybe his previous anger wasn't so unjustified.

* * *

**Challenge 17: Moor** (submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: a tract of land preserved for game

Had it not been for the fact that Spock felt a certain redundancy to their conversation, he would have remarked how illogical he found their current activity. While Spock felt obligated to indulge his Captain, Vulcan patience and understanding did after all have a limit. "Jim…" he began.

"Quiet, Spock. I know your opinions already. You told me. Several times."

Surrendering to a quiet sigh, Spock turned his attentions to his surroundings. The inhabitants of the planet they were currently visiting, whose name not even he could pronounce, had an extreme fondness for the sport known as "hunting". To a Vulcan who did not see the merits in A) consuming animal flesh B) attaching the heads of animals to a wall or C) having a "good" time, the logic to such an activity escaped him. Yet here he was with Jim, exploring the **moor**.

As they rounded a corner of the trail, Spock saw Jim raise his weapon as he too spotted the four-legged creature only partially concealed in the long grass. Jim stood with his legs slightly spread in a practiced half-crouch.

It was then that inspiration struck.

Moving behind his Captain, Spock gave no hint to his intentions before caressing the back of Jim's neck. He felt the shiver pass along his hand as he drew back and ran long fingers up and down the spine. A strained sound escaped Jim, as he began to look behind him. "Spock…" he breathed.

"Shh, Captain, you will frighten the animal. A starship Captain must remain focused on whatever task is at hand, regardless of his surroundings."

Jim swallowed and suppressed a shudder as the hand crept back to the sensitive skin at his neck. Deciding he would win this, he once more raised his weapon which had begun to dip under the stimulation. He was taking aim, when he immediately remembered Spock had _another_ hand when it slipped under his shirt. Hot breath invaded his ear and Jim could feel his resolve weakening.

"Fire, Jim."

The alien rifle shook again. "Spock…what…?"

A soft exhalation met his words. "You must fire your weapon, Jim, lest the animal escape. You certainly would not wish to return from the hunt without game, would you?"

Jim realized the logic of his First Officer's proposal. Returning with game would certainly improve relations with these people and endear them to the Federation. Hunting was their sacred sport of which they had graciously allowed Jim to partake. So many reasons to fire the weapon he held, but for one problem: Spock's tongue was doing delicious things to his ear. Beginning to pant, he squeezed the alien weapon's trigger…and completely missed his target.

The animal looked up, startled by the noise, and darted into the tall grasses.

Jim dropped his weapon and spun around in Spock's arms. "If I can't bring back any game," Jim reasoned, "I'll bring them the Vulcan I hunted."

As Jim began to explore his lover's body, Spock, for the first time that day, found no flaw in his logic.

* * *

**Challenge 18: Flotsam** (submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: the part of the wreckage of a ship and its cargo found floating on the water

"Of all the possible **flotsam** we could have encountered, it would be the most illogical and unnecessary part of our possessions," Spock remarked in a manner that, Kirk decided, could only be described as grumpy.

He decided to make an attempt to lighten the mood and perhaps lather on the charm. "Look at it this way, Spock—we won't go hungry." Vulcans most certainly did _not_ have death glares, and so it was impossible that Kirk would be on the receiving end of one at this moment. Nevertheless, Kirk shifted uncomfortably at his end of the life raft in a futile effort to blend in with the side "wall".

Spock turned his intimidating gaze from the face of his lover and instead focused upon preventing himself from further speculation on the necessity of shuttlecraft safety checks and how illogical it truly was that their transporter malfunctioned so frequently. Turning to once again inspect the only piece of luggage recovered, Spock decided his time would be much better spent lecturing Kirk that while a few small jars of edible body paint and flavored lotions were acceptable, one did not require such a large bag of such products, no matter how "perfect" their shore leave was promised to be.

* * *

**Challenge 19: Firebrand** (submitted by _Andre!_)

Definition: a piece of burning wood or other material

_Starfleet_, Spock decided, _does far too much to accommodate this planet's natives._ As the four women continued to chatter amiably and altogether ignore their victim, Spock took pains to not audibly sigh. The planet of Settiner had a supply of dilithium Starfleet had declared was a necessity to the Federation. The Enterprise, therefore, had been "sacrificed" to cater to the peoples' whims.

Unfortunately, the natives became fixated on Spock.

His features, so unlike those of his fellow crewmembers, listed him as an oddity and therefore something sacred and revered upon the planet. He had immediately been whisked away to be adorned in something far more suitable in the Settinerian's eyes. The women that now surrounded Spock had been dressing him and painting his skin with washable dyes for close to three hours and frankly even Vulcan constitution had its limits. Spock had not been allowed to view what was being done to his body, nor had he been allowed to see the rest of the crew. Gibea, the one translator for the entire planet, had explained that the Vulcan would walk among them once dressed in the style of their deities and not a moment sooner, hence Spock's current predicament.

One of the women raised her hand and they stepped back from the First Officer. Murmuring sounds of approval, the same woman left the hut briefly, before ushering in the Captain. As the Enterprise's leader, Gibea had explained, it would be Kirk's duty to decide if his First was acceptable and pleasing to the eye.

A **firebrand** was held just close enough to Spock's face to outline the intricate patterns and designs that covered his face in the dim light of the hut. Kirk's eyes raked over Spock's form, taking in everything from the painted face, the chest that had been left deliciously bare, to the "covering" that concealed his genitals. The Captain swallowed hard and forced himself to drag his eyes away from that particular part of anatomy. Giving Spock a barely concealed look of lust, he said, "You'll do."

Spock heard the pleased voices of the natives but could not take his eyes away from Kirk's stare. _Indulgences,_ Spock thought, _could have their own rewards._

**Challenge 20: Erudite**

Definition: characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly: _an erudite professor; an erudite commentary._

Spock had always considered himself an **erudite** science officer, but when matched with Kirk's overwhelming knowledge of "physical" biology, he found himself woefully inadequate.

* * *

So I've had to actually do the "work" thing lately and haven't had much time to write. /sadface I hope someone is still reading this LOL


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